21 May 2018

Rave part 1/7

I've been wanting to get into the rave culture for quite a while now. The only problem is, I don't have any friends, and I'm too anxious to go alone. I went onto a lot of different forums, looking for people with similar situations, hoping someone could help me. Instead, I found this. The following is from an archived blog, the poster is anonymous.

April 27th Thursday 2017
7:33 pm

Hello guys

I've been getting into raves lately. It's not something I planned or thought I'd enjoy, as you know I'm quite introverted, but a few weeks ago my friend Jo brought me along to an underground rave. Since none of Jo's other friends could make it I decided I'd do it. We've been friends for quite a long time and I figured it's the least I could do. I thought I'd tell you a bit about my relationship with music, so you know where I come from and all that. I've always liked music but it's been something I've enjoyed alone. When going to concerts I don't feel connected with the crowd, like many other people say they do. If anything it makes me feel more alone than before I get there. When I was younger I was nervous about showing other people the music I listened to, scared that they'd tease me about it and I'd enjoy it less after realizing it wasn't 'good'. The way I've listened to music is quiet, in headphones when doing the dishes or going for walks. I've never really belted along to my favourite songs, not even when alone. I'm telling you this so that when I say that that night at the rave changed everything, you'll understand. We met up at Jo's place and had some drinks before heading out. Jo told me the people in charge of the rave would send out texts just a few hours before the rave started, so the police wouldn't get there in time to stop it before it begin. I wouldn't use the word 'criminal' to describe myself, even if I guess what we do is technically illegal. I didn't rebel much in my teenage years, I kept to myself most of the time. I guess this might be me making up for lost time. We showed up before the cops, just like planned. I was a bit impressed by how well everything was coordinated. I lost Jo in the crowd probably an hour after we got there, at first I got nervous, a bit scared even. I know, that's embarrassing. However, everything turned out fine. In fact, I actually made some new friends. This girl, I think her name was Alyssa, and her friends hung out with me most of the night. I had a great time. The next morning I was walking back to Jo's place drunk and we slept in most of the Sunday. Jo told me that, for someone who's only been at their first rave, I party hard. To be honest, I never thought I could feel that connected to so many people at once. It was exhilarating, like a fog finally cleared, I felt free and when we left I immediately wanted more.

This is all for today, see ya!

May 7th Sunday 2017
4:12 pm

Hi guys!

It's another Sunday afternoon and I've just about recovered from last night. It was great, I made a few new friends. Jo got wasted before I did and I saw some flyers for this other party in a few weeks, so I grabbed one. The DJ for the night was awesome and had everyone dancing until morning. There were a few policemen outside but we all knew they wouldn't do anything; they don't want to risk a riot. I think some people still ended up in custody once the party was over but Jo and I snuck out the back with some other people. We had a smoke at the old station before heading back home. I'm really loving this, I don't think I've felt this good in a long time.

Until next time!

May 26th Friday 2017
6:25 pm

Hi, guys

This night I'll be going without Jo. We didn't really fall out or anything, Jo just got stuck with a nightshift this particular Friday. I have to admit I was a bit bummed about it when she told me. You see, I've decided I'll try something new this evening. A guy from work, someone I wouldn't normally talk to, had found out that I'd been at the last venue. He told me most of his customers were ravers and knew what they liked. He'd offered to hook me up with some MDMA, at a discount since I was a first timer. Jo had agreed that we'd do it together, wanting to be with me my first time. Sometimes I'm surprised by how vigilant Jo is. Now, I didn't want to be the one shitting on Jo's noble chivalry of making sure I didn't get in trouble, but I already had my mind set. So, tonight I'll be going alone, and do drugs. Alone. I've never done drugs, other than weed. Like I've mentioned before, I was a quiet kid who kept in line and I've only gotten wasted but not really like 'high' high. I keep thinking it might be a bad idea, but then I remember how easy it's been to find people to get along with once I'm there, so I won't be alone. Not really. Besides, I think it's about time that I try new things. I've been the same since I was a kid, I'm ready for a change.

I'll check in on you guys later! See ya, and party hard!

[Rave is written by Anna Yngvesson]