25 May 2018

Rave part 5/7

No one is replying. I feel if I dont go out soon there will be nothing left of me, just this empty shell that no one wants to get to know anyway. If no one answers soon there will be nothing left. This person in this blog, I bet theyre happy now. I bet theyre living their fucking dream, and Im stuck in here. Just rotting away.

July 15th Saturday 2017
10:12 am

Good morning, people

Last night we played this weird game when you try to foresee the future. Jacob and Hannah wanted to try and find out where that summer event would be at and we gave it a go. We wrote a lot of letters on pieces of paper, put them in a pot and then lit it on fire. We let the fire burn for 13 seconds and then whatever letters were spared from the fire would spell out a location. We didnt get squat. All of the paper burned through and we couldnt read any letters at all. My tinnitus is getting worse, last night we did some Ecstasy and I swore I could hear something, like a whisper. I dont know if tinnitus does that but I guess because I asked the others if theyd said anything and they said no. Last night I also had this weird dream. I was standing next to a mountain but then, all of a sudden, I was on top of it and I realized it was a volcano. There was smoke everywhere but not the thick kind of fiery smoke but like smoke machine smoke. I think I heard music but I dont really remember. I told Alyssa about it over breakfast and she got all excited and said it must be a sign or something. I dont know. It was just a weird dream.

Ill see you guys later.

July 17th Monday 2017
8:22 pm

The dreams are getting more vivid and the tinnitus is getting worse as well. I hear it all the time now, drums and beats and sometimes a sort of murmur. Almost like a crowd. I know it sounds silly. Ive tried to lay off the drugs for a while but every time I do I feel like shit. Were still at the hotel. Im actually not sure how long weve been here. Weve been playing more games, sitting in a circle with candles lit. Alyssa is talking, I cant understand her but when she looks at me I know everything will be fine.

[Rave is written by Anna Yngvesson]